Most important thing a father can do


“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother” – Theodore Hesburgh

Marriage is the foundation of the family. Children need this solid foundation more than anything else a parent can give them. That is why divorce and children outside of marriage are some of the greatest tragedies. And that undoubtedly explains the extremely high correlation between the relationship of our parents and the level of hardship we face in our life.

Just about every major social problem we have has at least one correlative factor in common: broken homes. That is not to say there aren’t plenty of exceptions. But it’s an obvious factor. And I firmly believe it is the most important factor of all.

“The family is the first essential cell of human society.” – Pope John XXIII

“As the family goes, so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live.” – John Paul II

If we have broken families then we have a broken society.

Unfortunately, we live in a culture that increasingly believes divorce is no big deal. And believes that sex and children outside of a marriage bond is just fine for the children. And at the root we have a sentiment that “spouses may come and go, but I will always love my children.”

But your children need you and your spouse. That is why your marriage and your love for each other is the most important thing you can focus on. For a married person, it’s your first vocation in life. It comes even before loving your kids. You love your kids most by loving each other first. That is what ensures a safe and solid environment for your children to grow within.

11 comments Add comment

Dave January 22, 2009 at 6:36 pm

I know too many broken families. Too much “me” I’m these relationships.

Roseanne Sullivan January 22, 2009 at 9:33 pm

I have a relative who gave this invincibly ignorant answer when I told her that it was not good for her children and three of her children’s children to not have a father. She replied, “They have a father.” Well, physically, that’s all. Not in the house. Not in being married to their mother. Her attitude is very common, sad to say.

Cindy January 23, 2009 at 9:35 am

And our response to these victims of broken homes? Love, always love. Love to help replace what’s lost. Love to demonstrate that there is love in the world, from the Father of us all, that can more than compensate for an absent biological father. Never, ever scorn or derision or a condescending tone that their “otherness” makes them less. A good faith life and a strong catholic education do wonders for the children of broken homes. We are the spiritual aunts and uncles of the children of our brothers and sisters in Christ. We do the Lord’s will when we bring the little one’s to him by showering them with the love He graces us with.

Jeremy October 22, 2009 at 2:53 pm

Found this link on your fatherhood video, great post! Too much selfishness in the world today is leading to the downfall of happy families and marriages.

Vivina July 14, 2012 at 11:13 am

I agree with you… the conflict that happened to my marriage since 2008 (when I first discovered that my husband has another woman) until now, is now affecting my children so much. It’s like they could either hate their father or be like him. It’s so sad. Really, really sad. T_T

johnathan March 22, 2010 at 10:36 pm

I don’t know if you take book recomendations but here is one that has changed me. Father, The Family Protector by James stenson is a great book by a good Catholic man.

Jeff Geerling July 14, 2010 at 12:09 pm

Excellent post! I was just discussing this a few weeks ago with my fiancée; we have both agreed that our lives are going to be directed towards: God, each other, our children, then everyone else.

Monica November 12, 2011 at 10:57 am

Excellent. A Father who really loves his children will make sure they have a secure home. He doesnt disrespect, abandon, neglect his relationship with their Mother. Our Church needs to preach this responsibility that Fathers have! My own dear Husband thinks he can be a ‘good Father” love his children even while he abandons me his wife, abandons our home, leaving me and our 3 children in financial and emotional distress. All of this with the blessings of some liberal “Catholic- light”clergy who tell him is is justified to do this ( and somehow Divorce is morally neutral and he could somehow get an annulment) after 20+ years of marriage because he “just doesnt love me” his wife? He made a mistake 20 years ago and “picked” the wrong spouse and now he discards me like used up trash?. But if one has chosen to put the marriage relationship Last, and ones own desires first- before God, before the marriage, before the children- well this is SIN.

Ron November 27, 2012 at 4:12 pm

But what if the wife is the one who breaks up the marriage, she will probably end up with the kids as well. We should not assume that the break-up of the family is casued by the father. Women file for over 2/3rds of divorce.

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