Father-Daughter Dance: A good idea?

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I think things like this are really cool.

It’s an uncommon courage (unfortunately) on the part of both the fathers and the daughters to step up and participate in something like this. And it will certainly be very good for both of them:

“It’s a night for fathers and daughters to grow together,” Dullinger said, “and for the daughters to learn about chastity and teach the fathers how to be a role model for their daughters and have fun doing it.”

The event, called the White Rose Waltz, took place March 27 at St. Henry and drew 25 couples, many from the parish and a few from nearby parishes.

The evening included a dinner, speakers who talked about purity and chastity, dance lessons given by a pair of college students from St. John’s University in Collegeville and the College of St. Benedict in St. Joseph, and a Mass celebrated by the pastor of St. Henry, Father Tim Rudolphi.

One of the nicest parts:

One of the highlights came later in the evening, right before Mass. Fathers and daughters took turns reciting commitments to each other, pledging to carry out their roles according to God’s plan for purity, chastity and, in the fathers’ case, guidance and protection.

After reading the pledges, the fathers and daughters signed them. Some tears flowed during this ceremony. Then, everyone went to the chapel for Mass, which concluded the event. [Source: TheCatholicSpirit.com]

We need more things like this. I’ve also heard of fathers taking their daughters out on first “dates” to demonstrate how they should be treated by gentlemen in the future.

Does anyone else have any examples of anything they’ve done like this?

[photo credit]

6 comments Add comment

Denise April 8, 2010 at 1:54 pm

I am blessed with an amazing Dad… I will be Daddy’s girl until the day I die. He’s been a mentor, a protector, a comfort, and, as I get older, a friend. It still makes me smile thinking about what my husband told me my dad said when my now husband asked my parents’ permission to ask me to marry. (YES! He actually asked!) I’ll forever be my Daddy’s little girl, even as a grown woman. Its a bond that I never take for granted, and I feel so blessed to have.

I’ve also heard of fathers taking their daughters out on first “dates” to demonstrate how they should be treated by gentlemen in the future.

While my Dad and I never necessarily did that, he taught me through years of example in his relationship with my Mom. I could see through their example what I should expect.

I think girls NEED a father figure, and in the same vein that boys need a mother figure. Those figures shape how we interact with the opposite sex in our later years.

I really do love the idea of the Father-Daughter dance! I would have participated if I’d had the chance back in the day. I’d STILL participate for that matter! (Except that whole chastity thing. I don’t think that would work too well with wanting kids and all. hehe)

norm April 10, 2010 at 6:30 am

wow! very nice

Lucy April 8, 2010 at 4:59 pm

I was hoping to plan a Father/daughter dance in our parish next year! I think it’s a lovely idea that will create lasting memories.

Our family starting discussing courtship when our kids were under seven, and we’ve been discussing it ever since. (Our oldest is 17 now) My husband regularly takes our daughters (and sons) out to lunch and talks to them about the kinds of virtues they need to look for in a husband (wife).

We also had a dad & son, mother & daughter, special weekend away when it was time to discuss the facts of life. This was so great, because it gave us time to adjust to this new revelation, ask and answer questions, as well as bond and have fun. My daughter and I went to San Francisco and took a trolly to the wharf, rented bikes to ride over the Golden Gate Bridge, had lunch, took a ferry boat back, and then piled in a crowded stretch limo to take us back to our hotel where we watched My Fair Lady and ate chocolate cake. It was so much fun!!!

My husband isn’t a camper like alot of dads are, so he took our son to a hotel and watched football games all day and ate junk food. When the games were over, they were having a Rocky film festival for the rest of the day. He thought that had to be divine intervention!!! :D They had a ball!

During the Easter break, we had a great discussion over the course of several days, about the financial responsibilites involved in raising a family, from regular bills, to insurance, to retirement funds, to the cost of diapers. There were some things they hadn’t considered before.

As far as the “holding the door” date, while I think it’s a lovely idea, I don’t think that when a guy “holds the door” for his date, it’s necessarily an indication of a sterling character. So it’s got to go alot deeper than that. In fact, alot of guys use this as flattery to “butter her up”.

Also, it’s important to realize what Jason Evertt has pointed out about kissing at Pure Love Club: http://chastity.org/chastity/index.php?id=7&entryid=116

He says, and I have to agree, that French kissing will almost always cause arousal in the guy, and quite possibly for the girl as well.

There’s alot to discuss, and as Steve Wood (dads.org) points out, it’s best if you start when they are really young, and still looking up to you and listening without competition from the outside. So dances like this are just one of the many, many opportunities to build this bonding trust. I hope most dads will start much sooner, but better late than never!

Lucy April 8, 2010 at 5:37 pm

Oh! I forgot one other thing: the spiritual aspect of our “Facts of Life” weekends. Molly and I went to Mass in French at a beautiful French church in San Francisco. We knelt before the Sacred Heart, and prayed for her future vocation, and if that is to be marriage, then for her future spouse. I then gave her a Claddaugh ring to promise her heart to Jesus.

My husband went with Danny to the Blessed Sacrament to make a Holy Hour, and prayed for his future vocation and wife if that is to be his calling.

We’ve prayed for their vocational discernment, and future spouses ever since. :)

In Christ,
Lucy
http://www.mysticalrosedesign.blogspot.com

ann April 8, 2010 at 8:11 pm

I went to a Catholic girl High School all four years.The school had a father daughter dinner dance every year We always went. My father was very wonder as a father,but most of my friends and I felt very uncomfortable with our dad’s at these events. I spent most of my time with my girl friends those nights ,and the dad’s sat around and talked most of the evening.

MyFeminineMind September 4, 2010 at 7:10 am

I have mixed feelings about these dances. Obviously if it is giving the message that the girl is so immensely valuable and no one ought use her as his personal playground, and the message of chastity is rooted in the fact of her personhood and dignity, then it has my full endorsement. And I’ve never been to such a dance so I don’t know. My misgivings come from fear that someone might reinforce the angel/whore paradigm, whereas unless a woman is perfectly virginal she is a whore and therefore worthless. It does concern me that although I have heard of a number of these dances, I have yet to hear of a father-son event where son’s learn the virtue of chastity and father’s are encouraged and given pointers on how to encourage this virtue in their sons. (This doesn’t mean that such events don’t occur, but I have not heard of them). If groups are concerned with female chastity but not male, then I worry these events are still giving that message that a woman must be pure but that men have “needs.”

It is probably common knowledge that many girls grow up to marry someone like their father. So I feel it is extremely important for fathers to treat their daughters the way they want her future spouse to treat her. Does he want her to marry someone who is emotionally distant? Too busy to spend any time with her? Does he want her to marry someone that thinks it’s okay to hit her if she does something he does not approve of? On the other hand, does he want her to marry someone who is respectful of her feelings? Does he want her to marry someone who cherishes his time with her and values that time so much that he makes certain he makes enough time to spend with her? Then he must be that for her now.

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