I Suck at Canceling Cable

TV shows consume our day. If the TV is not on, we’re talking about it (or telling someone to SHUSH cuz we DVR’d something and haven’t watched it yet).

The average American watches 35 hours of TV each week – a second full time job. That’s 5 hours per day! Incredible! And that’s just an average. So for every one of us who watch less than that, there is somebody else who watches that much more. Where do we find the time?

Anyway, it’s not that all TV is bad. A lot of it is very good. A lot of it is educational and beautiful. Other parts are healthy, entertaining and fun. The problem is how it sucks you in. Even the good stuff sucks you in. And it makes you forget that there are other things in life that are much better that you’re missing out on. And when TV starts causing us to miss out on that stuff, it’s a very bad thing.

So in my efforts to try and be a real man, I (along with my wife) recently decided it was time to cancel cable. It cost about $75 per month (not counting internet, etc.), so it would save us some money and encourage us to spend our time more effectively.

What’s great is that you can watch TV now in lots of ways. And when it comes down to it, our family really only watches about 4-6 channels. A couple news channels, a kids channel, the Food Network and a couple of sports channels.

I can’t wait for the day when you can only order the few channels you want. But I’m not sure we’ll ever get there because the media companies aren’t interested in our personal virtue and discipline. They just want more eyeballs on TVs (which = more money for them).

So here’s how we decided to make it without cable.

I can get my news online for free. We picked up Netflix for $8 / month to watch a movie every once in awhile and to have some good shows on demand for the kids and some foodie shows for the wife.

Survivor I can watch online for free, too. American Idol would be tougher. And the hardest part would be trying to watch the Texas Aggies and the Cowboys. But I figured if I really wanted to watch a game that badly, I’d go to somebody else’s house or to a sports bar. Sports is another thing I often end up watching way too much of and of teams I really have no real interest in (thanks Fantasy Football).

So, for Netflix, we needed an AppleTV to run it on our TV. We also liked the AppleTV cuz it made it easy for us to share pics and videos from our computers/phones/iPad with everyone else in the room – which was nice. So I picked up an AppleTV and got it set up with Netflix.

Now we were all set to take the plunge. No more cable. I was really gonna do it. For real. So I called up the cable company to cancel. I told them I just couldn’t justify spending $75 every month for something we really didn’t need that much.

They sent me to their cancelation (read: customer retention) desk. Here’s how it went:

Guy: “Sir, what if we could get your bill down a bit for you?”

Me: “I appreciate that, but I just don’t need it.” [intent on following through]

Guy: “Well what if I could do $50 per month or so for you?”

Me: “Sorry, still not worth it for me.”

Guy: “Well what price would make it worth it for you?”

Me: “Honestly, it would have to be something like $20-something dollars a month. I mean, basically what we’d pay to rent/buy a movie and a few shows online each month.” [that's probably what we'd legitimately otherwise spend without cable and I knew it was a low enough number to end the conversation here.]

Guy: “Hmm, well what if we took off your DVR? And I could get it down to like $30-something dollars a month for you?”

Me: “…” [that's a pretty good deal. Uhg.]

Guy: “And we’re running a deal right now where you get Cinemax free for a year.”

Me: “…Sorry, it just isn’t worth it. I gotta say no. And I would definitely need the DVR cuz the alternative, of buying/renting online, is on-demand.” [WIN!]

Guy: “Let me talk with my manager, just a minute.”

…

Guy: “Okay, $28 per month, same setup you have now, with DVR, plus Cinemax free for a year?”

Me: [uhg] “…Gimme a minute.”

[I sat there in silence wondering what the heck just happened. I REALLY wanted to cancel cable, but this was a really good deal. How could I pass up this kind of value? And it really would be easier to just have the full cable package with everything that comes with it...and we were still gonna save a bunch of money each month. uhg.]

Me: “Okay. Let’s do it.”

EPIC. FAIL.

So now, instead of limiting my family’s access to television…we still have hundreds of channels and shows on-demand via cable (with a DVR). In addition to watching it all on our TV, I can now also watch and control all of it from my iPad. We now have an AppleTV with access to every movie and tv show you’d ever want to order and watch via iTunes. We have all the free AppleTV channels, youtube and other free apps on our TV. Now we have Netflix, where we get endless free movies and tv shows on demand (to watch from our computer, phone, iPad or TV from anywhere at any time). Oh, and a free year of Cinemax, too.

I suck at canceling cable. :-(

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It’s My Fault

Being a father is a radical responsibility. One that’s been neutered of its uniqueness and weight and turned into just another equal participant in the human economy. Well, we may have produced an economy of hard working men (and women), but we’ve also enabled a generation of slacker dads. Even the “good dads” are slackers. And I’m intent on not being one of them.

If my family is not praying enough or doesn’t know how to pray together, it’s my fault.

If my family lacks direction and inspiration and vision, it’s my fault.

If my children don’t know what generosity and selflessness look like, it’s my fault.

If my children do not know God, it’s my fault.

If my children don’t know what a hard working, faithful, loving, disciplined, kind, holy, gentle, patient, strong man looks like, it’s my fault.

If my children don’t feel secure about who they are, it’s my fault.

If my son doesn’t know how to be a real man, it’s my fault.

If my daughter doesn’t know how she’s supposed to be treated, it’s my fault.

If my children don’t know what it feels like to be loved and what real, sacrificial love looks like, it’s my fault.

If my children don’t know what forgiveness and mercy look like, it’s my fault.

If my children don’t know how to respect authority, it’s my fault.

If my children don’t know that the hard stuff in life is the stuff most worth doing, it’s my fault.

If my children don’t know to pursue truth over comfort and faithfulness over success, it’s my fault.

If my children don’t know what humility and honesty look like, it’s my fault.

If my house does not serve the Lord, it’s my fault.

If I, as their father, don’t do these things, who will? Who will? If it’s not my responsibility, whose is it? My wife has unique responsibilities of her own and many of these others we fulfill together. But ultimately, in a family, the buck stops with somebody – and that’s me. If these things don’t happen, it’s my fault.

If you need a good reminder of this or wanna catch a good flick for families, check out the movie Courageous. It pumped me up and will remind you of the seriousness, bigness, joy and fulfillment of being a good father. Here’s a preview clip:

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12 Tips for Pooping with Smartphones

Look. I know it’s taboo to talk poop. It’s even more taboo to talk about what you do while you poop. But let’s be honest…you know you do it. Yes, everybody poops…but now most of you are doing it with your smartphone. (If you don’t like talking about poop, try this other post I wrote instead.)

I do miss the old days, though. Back when toilet time was just a waiting game. Time to relax and think. Many of mankind’s greatest ideas were birthed on the porcelain throne. It’s an astonishing fact that Smartphones have set back innovation and progress decades, perhaps centuries.

The bathroom used to be Man’s last sanctuary in the home. The one place the noise of the media and the worries of life could not penetrate. The place of great ideas.

No more. The Smartphone has ruined it. Well, mostly. If you have kids, it’s still the last place to at least find a few minutes of quiet. So forgive me if I’m not overly eager to fiber binge so as to minimize my time in the dunny. Besides, let’s be honest, sometimes you need a big move…on Words with Friends and it takes a little while.

In an age obsessed with hyper-productivity and multi-tasking, it’s not surprising we don’t wanna waste these precious moments we’re destined to spend on the can. But here are a few tips to help you navigate the murky waters:

  1. Take your phone out of your pocket (or purse) before you get to the toilet. You can also wait til after you sit. But DO NOT reach for it while standing over the toilet. 19% of people drop their cell phones down the toilet.
  2. No more smartphoning once you start wiping. That’s one thing that was never supposed to be multi-tasked. Let’s try to keep it sanitary, folks. 16% of cellphones have poop on them. But that’s still cleaner than your remote control or your keyboard (which is dirtier than your toilet seat). We can do better.
  3. Don’t Skype. Nobody likes to get Dookie-Rolled.
  4. If you must talk on the phone, wrap up the call before you wipe. It’ll help you avoid the awkward toilet flush in the background.
  5. No need to “check-in.” Seriously.
  6. In general, nobody needs to be privy (online or on-phone) that you’re in the privy. Unless you just wanna test the intimacy levels within your social network.
  7. If you really have a need to get chatty on the potty, check out the iPoo social network app. I haven’t tried it. But the link gave me a good laugh.
  8. If you’re the anal retentive type, try a data dump into your own PooLog (app).
  9. Don’t play games that have endless levels. 30 minutes will go by, your legs will end up asleep and you won’t have wiped yet.
  10. Don’t forget that others may be waiting to use the john, too.
  11. Don’t let the non-smartphoning poopers get you down. They just aren’t comfortable coming out of the water closet yet.
  12. Don’t forget to still find some time each day for some prayer and reflection. Noise and information have permeated every corner of our lives and every idle moment of our day. We are supposed to consume information, not the other way around. Don’t forget that.
 Any more tips I missed?
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Are you lying to your children about Santa?

My wife and I play a game with our two year old son. It involves catching a fish. You never know if it’s gonna be a little, tiny fish – or a great, big whale of a fish. You can play this game on the bed, on the floor, pretty much anywhere.

To begin, you have to look very carefully all around you to try and find a fish just under the surface of the water. Once you spot one, you try to snatch it out of the water with your bare hands! But you have to be quick – because fish are very quick.

Once you’ve caught a fish, it’s a bit of a juggling act. The fish is usually squirming and flopping around – as a fish out of water does. So it’s usually quite a struggle and a workout to keep the fish from getting away, especially if it’s a big one! The fish is very hard to hold on to – as fish are very slippery. Once you start getting tired of trying to hold on to this jumping, squirming fish, you pass him off to another person so they can wrestle with it for awhile. Eventually, the fish gets away and you start over again. It’s hilarious, just ask my son!

Now, is the existence of the fish in this goofy game a part of an elaborate lie? Of course not. We were just using our imagination and teaching our son to do the same. We also showed him how using our imagination lets us have a lot of fun with very little. More importantly, we used our imagination to learn about something that is very, very real. Just because we imagine something doesn’t mean it’s not real. We imagine real things all the time.

Does my two year old fully understand the difference between our fishing game and real fishing yet? Not quite. But one day he will. And in the process he’s learning a lot of real things about real fish…even if we exaggerate and have some fun with it in the process.

So what about Santa Claus?

We live in a culture that has taken Christ out of Christmas. Our appetite for material goods is insatiable. Our religion, a cult of consumerism. Our dogma, the marketing maxims of slick sales execs that have redefined for us what it means to be “prepared” for Christmas. Rather than prayer, fasting and repentance, we prepare by just buying lots of stuff. And they’ve made Santa Claus the spokesperson.

So it’s no surprise that, as a reaction to all that, some have been tempted to throw Santa Claus right out and get back to the “reason for the season.” And besides, why do we tell such lies to our kids about some imaginary man in a sleigh anyway?

Well, I’ll tell you.

First, the story of Santa Claus is a Christian story. Hello! When told properly, it points to and emphasizes Jesus Christ. So, it’s actually one of the (fun) ways to “get back to the reason for the season.” And kids like fun.

Second, therefore, Santa Claus is not the problem. The commercialization of Christmas has victimized him as much as any of us. In fact, I’m pretty sure the real Santa Claus isn’t taking all of this too lightly, either.

Which brings me to my next point, Santa Claus is a real person. So it’s not a lie to say that Santa Claus is real. He has died, yes. But he’s not really dead. He’s alive in heaven, which means he’s more fully alive than any of us.

Santa Claus = Sinter Klaas = Sint Nikolaas = Saint Nicholas. Make it a lesson in linguistics for your kids. Santa means Saint. A Saint is someone who has lived a life of heroic virtue. A life worth mimicking. A life worth observing. A life worth learning from. A life that points to Christ.

Saint Nicholas was a 4th century bishop in the Church. And his spirit of giving and serving the poor is worth remembering by re-enacting (and imagining) his life and then learning from it. More importantly, the reason he served the poor and gave of himself so much is because he served Christ at the center of his life. And he did so with heroic enough virtue that we remember it thousands of years later. We are all called to live lives like that. That’s the radical call of being a Christian (not necessarily to dramatically cast out all the fun in our lives!).

The point is that Santa can’t just be somebody we get stuff from. He’s a kind of model for our life – just like every “Saint.” He’s somebody we can teach our kids to look at and say, “do you see how generous and giving he is? That’s what God calls us to be every day, and especially during this important religious season when we celebrate the greatest gift mankind has ever received, Jesus.”

The giving must be emphasized, not the receiving. But you can’t have one without the other! So the question for our family is, simply, which are we focused on? and therefore, what are our kids learning is most important? The giving…or the receiving?

And it’s okay if your 4 year old gets more excited about Santa than she does about baby Jesus. That probably means you have a healthy 4 year old who can’t grasp the magnitude and deep theological significance of redemption, eternal salvation and God becoming a man. Even most adults struggle with it. Let’s not strip the fun out of our kids’ lives because they realize a jolly fat man in a red suit who flies around in a sleigh with magical reindeer giving gifts is more exciting than a baby in a manger. Any religion that wants to last longer than a single generation must acknowledge this simple childhood truth.

We just have to make sure that as kids get older they continue to learn the depth of the Santa story as they are able. And how that jolly fat man who gives presents is not there to give us presents, but to show us how to give. And he’s not doing so because you’ve been good, he’s doing so because giving is what life is all about. And the most radical way that old Saint Nick lived this out was not with the gift of presents, but with the giving of his entire life to Jesus Christ and the way he lived it in service to Him.

Personally, I think we should tell the Santa story to our children the same way we should tell them about many other stories that have grown into myths and legends. Let them grow into them – not out of them. Don’t outright lie to them, but don’t spoil it all up front either. Let them pretend along with you. Let them learn in time what is true about the story and what isn’t. What is important about the story and what isn’t. And more importantly, help them learn the deeper (and very real) truths contained within it. And in time, use it to help them understand the infinitely more significant and completely true story of Jesus.

It’s a good thing that this Christian Saint is plastered all over everything this time of year. What an opportunity for Christians and for our families. We just have to view it in the right light and, in many ways, reclaim the proper narrative. And we must always, always, always point it back to the real reason for the celebration.

The imagination is a powerful way to learn about real things. True things. Santa is alive and well. Now, please excuse me, I’ve got some fish to catch.

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Want to be the Change in Someone’s Life?

“Follow a man as he affects multiple peoples’ lives with just one dollar, proving that it doesn’t take much to be the change in someone’s life.”

Watch this provocative video:

It’s easy to be tricked into thinking that whatever little ability or power we may personally have could ever make a big difference to anyone else. But that’s one of the great illusions of the human experience. We forget what power, and therefore responsibility, we’ve been entrusted with.

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The Best Christmas Gift

Short on money this year for all those Christmas presents you need to buy? Good news: You don’t need it and you can still give the best Christmas gift ever.

We spend over $450 Billion on Christmas gifts each year. Buying people gifts has become a matter of formality with less and less meaning. This year, try spending less money and more time. More time on making something thoughtful. Time on relationships. Time preparing for Christmas (i.e. embracing Advent). Time in real thanksgiving and worship.

Here’s a great video to inspire you:

Advent Conspiracy

Imagine what we could do if we didn’t spend so much on ourselves and on buying things we really don’t need?

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Dear President Obama…

Here’s a great new video ad by CatholicVote (embedded below) highlighting one of the most important (but not talked about much by the media) issues for this current election cycle. The Obama administration has relentlessly and quietly continued to undermine religious liberty in our country in every way that it serves their agenda – often hidden behind the mantle of “health care” and “education.” Stay alert, oh tired democracy.

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You’ll Lose Your Looks

“You’ll lose your looks having kids. But you’ll lose your looks anyway. So you may as well do it having children and then they can remind you of how good looking you once were.” – Janet Smith

Life is way too short to spend it worrying about your looks so much anyway. Gee whiz. And of course, don’t forget the often overlooked benefits of having children anyway.

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Why is there a new translation of the Mass? (+ resources)

There have been some changes to the Mass. Here’s why…(with a lot of great resources below).

First, the essence of the Mass is not changing, there have just been some improvements to how we celebrate the Mass in English. The text of the Mass is contained in what’s called the “Roman Missal,” and this latest version is the “Third edition.” One of the key reasons for this third edition is that “after forty years of celebrating Mass in English, the Church has come to see certain areas where the English Text could be improved. Some have noted that, when the Latin text was paraphrased, a number of rich spiritual metaphors and images were lost. Important theological concepts were not always clear, and several biblical allusions did not shine out as noticeably as they could,” says Edward Sri.

Here’s a simple three-minute video explanation for you (from Life Teen’s helpful website on the subject):

If you’re into mobile apps, here’s an app for the new Mass (iPhone and Android) that’s actually really simple and helpful at guiding you through the changes. For each part of the Mass, it shows the old text, the new text and then a very short reason why they may be different. It’s a quick way to get a very brief download of why some of the changes were made.

If you’d like to learn even more, here are a few great books you should check out:

Praying the Mass, by Jeffrey Pinyan (A Guide to the New English Translation of the Mass)
This book is much more than just the reasons behind the latest updates to the English translation, but a full walk-through of how to pray the Mass. It goes through each part of the entire Mass and explains why and how we do it, while giving scripture references and also exploring the latest tweaks to the missal. It’s about 150 pages long and very accessible.

Mass Revision: How the Mass is changing and what it means for you, by Jimmy Akin
This is an amazing resource. Coming in at over 400 pages, it deals with far more than just the changes and meaning of the Mass. It digs deep into liturgical law as well, and identifies many of the forces and interests at play within the Church when it comes to liturgy. It’s an update to Akin’s 1998 book, Mass Confusion, and continues on the theme of identifying liturgical abuses and clarifying precisely how the Church indicates the Mass should be celebrated.

Here’s Jimmy Akin giving a little preview of his book:

A Guide to the New Translation of the Mass, by Edward Sri
This is a very short, 20 page pamphlet that answers your basic questions about the new translation. It answers questions like “Why do we need a new translation?” and “How significant will those changes be?” It also gives a page or two explanation for many of the changes. A quick read to get you caught up.

A Biblical Walk Through the Mass, by Edward Sri
This is another great walk-through of the Mass, with an emphasis on its biblical roots (which is natural for any study of the Mass anyway, of course!). It includes a deeper study of how the latest translation of the Mass exposes us to even more of the rich, profound connections between Scripture and the things we say at Mass.

Hope that helps! Oh, and here’s one more slightly longer video, similar to the one above, but that also goes into the process of how a new translation like this comes about. It’s an interesting process and amazing to know how much care and thought that goes into such important and significant changes to the Church’s highest prayer – the Mass.

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Does it matter what you believe?

Does it matter what you believe? Or do you just have to be a “good” person? Can you still call yourself a Catholic or a Christian if you don’t actually believe the doctrine that defines what those mean?

Fr. Barron opines and discusses what it means to be a “good” or “loving” person (video below).

We measure the “goodness” of our actions by what we believe. So if we believe wrongly, then we may do good wrongly. That’s why your beliefs matter. And it’s why knowing the truth about Goodness (about God) is essential to knowing if your actions are actually good. Otherwise you’re just guessing.

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How is Prayer Answered?

So often we feel like our prayers go unanswered. Like God must be ignoring them. But maybe we’re the ones doing the ignoring?

Unfortunately, we are too often close-minded about what an answered prayer should look like that we end up missing the answer all together. God is everywhere, yet somehow we miss Him. The answers are everywhere, too.

Here’s a surprisingly good clip (video below) that illustrates this point well. It’s from the movie Evan Almighty – the one where Steve Carell builds an Ark because God (played by Morgan Freeman) tells him to. Here, Evan’s wife is struggling with making sense of it all:

God didn’t create this wonderful, mysterious, complex human experience for us just so He could up and circumvent it all the time with some magical spell whenever He wants to do something in it or to communicate with us. He doesn’t use “magic.” And while super-natural types of miracles do exist, I think the most profound ways he communicates are directly through our everyday human experience. That’s why He created such an experience in the first place. So it’s not surprising that most of our prayers seem to get answered precisely that way. We just have to be on the lookout for such answers.

Likewise, our sanctification and salvation is the same way. It’s not only something that happens in a single moment when we say a prayer, make a decision or perform an act of faith. It’s not an elusive and magical moment, it’s a tangible and life-long experience. It’s a race that is run. A human adventure that must be persevered. A fire through which we pass. And it’s the many times we say “yes” to the everyday opportunities God puts so blatantly in front of our faces – so blatantly obvious that we often miss them.

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On to Something Big

Have you ever gotten an answer to a question that just led to more questions? And then you got answers to those questions only to have yet more questions?

That can be terribly frustrating. And it can end up causing you to feel like maybe it’s impossible to know much of anything for sure. Or that it’s not worth trying to learn in the first place since such answers always seem to lead to more and more questions.

But I say, good. It means you’re on the right track. Such an endless process shouldn’t frustrate us, it should affirm and comfort us. After all, we’re learning about an infinite God. If we ever get to the end of understanding such a Truth, we can be sure that we not only didn’t find the end, but we certainly don’t understand it either.

It’s also humbling. Learning a lot and then realizing you have many more questions than you started with doesn’t mean you didn’t still learn a lot. It’s just a realization that you have much more to learn than you thought.

Having more and more questions as a result of more and more answers is exactly what we would expect and hope to find when in search of an infinite God. It’s a great indicator that we’re on to something Big.

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The Question Confronting the Church Today

“The question confronting the Church today is not any longer whether the man in the street can grasp a religious message, but how to employ the communications media so as to let him have the full impact of the Gospel message.” – Pope John Paul II

And the place we need to start is with the huge number of people in the pews that we aren’t connecting effectively with yet. That’s why I created flockNote.com – a registration and communication tool for Catholic parishes, dioceses and organizations.

Please check out the newest video (below) and then help us spread the word in your Catholic community. You can start by simply sending this video to your pastor and parish staff. Thanks!

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Young-Earth Creationists’ Explanation of Dinosaur Extinction

Seriously though…

All fun aside – realizing that some world views out there, I think, too quickly deny reason because of their faith – please don’t forget that faith and reason work together. :-) And that true faith, rather than contradicting reason, actually strengthens reason. When we forget that, we end up at two extremes, either with a non-sensical religion on one end or trapped in our own prison of reason on the other, limited by our own boring, small, limited minds. Good science is a friend to true religion. And true religion is not scared of good science, rather, it makes it that much more interesting and meaningful.

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What the Church means by Purgatory

Catholics get a bad rap for thinking we somehow “merit” or “earn” our own sanctification (and salvation) through “works” that we do. But that’s a misunderstanding of what the Catholic Church actually teaches. Our sanctification (our being made holy) happens only by the Grace of God. But it does require a response on our part. We must cooperate with it. This submission to and cooperation with God’s Grace, Catholics call a “work” and it takes various forms.

Some identify this response to God’s grace as a kind of “saving” or “justifying” faith (a faith that produces or is accompanied by works of conversion, hope and charity) as opposed to a “work” – something we do. Such a position is reconcilable with Catholic teaching once we understand each side’s terminology. On the other hand, I think it’s confusing to refer to this cooperation with and submission to God’s Grace as simply “faith alone” – which is one reason Catholics don’t refer to it that way (and probably one reason the Bible says we are “not” saved by “faith alone” – James 2:24). Instead, you’ll usually here Catholics refer to it as “faith and works” as they are both mysteriously and intimately tied up together.

Anyway, here Fr. Barron speaks a little bit about some of these sanctifying practices of the Church and what we mean by “Purgatory” (an extension of that sanctification) in the super-natural sense.

This exclusive preview clip was from CATHOLICISM, Episode X: “WORLD WITHOUT END: THE LAST THINGS”.

Explore the Church’s conviction that life here and now is preparation for an extraordinary world that is yet to come – a supernatural destiny. Father Barron presents the Catholic vision of death, judgment, heaven, hell and purgatory as he journeys to Florence, Ireland and Rome.

The vision of the Church sees beyond this world and invites us to consider a world without end. Father Barron shows how this vision is supported by the mystery and truth of the Resurrection of Jesus.

View exclusive preview clips from all episodes of the CATHOLICISM series coming out in Fall 2011.

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Tired of being harassed by your stupid parents?

Teenagers - Tired of being harassed by your stupid parents? Act Now! Move out, get a job, pay your bills while you still know everything.

Some good advice to pass along to any teens you know. But kids, do be patient with your stupid parents, they tend to get astonishingly smarter as you grow older.

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